The relationships we clung onto ended. We’ve listened to songs and cried. We’ve talked to every friend and stranger on the bus we could to find an answer. We’ve tried remembering details in the saga that might explain how this could happen or to prove to ourselves that we’re better off without them. We’ve hated ourselves; we’ve hated them. We couldn’t even imagine dating again. Not one but two new iPhones have come out.
But then, something lifts. Something shifts. Someone refers to your baggage and they are just talking about your suitcase. But how can we be sure we’re ready to let someone get close again? Here are seven signs that it’s time to let our defenses down and get back in the dating game.
1. When you’re able to engage in conversation with people without talking about your ex. You’re laughing again at your friend’s funny story about a date gone badly and it doesn’t get you down. You’ve accepted it and it’s time to get back in the dating game.
2. You notice someone and you weren’t even people watching. They actually caught your eye. The way they whisked their hair back, what they said to the person at check out made you smile. You honestly like them.
3. You’re not comparing new people to your ex. You don’t wait for someone to turn around because they look like them from the back. You don’t roll your eyes when someone talks about their golf game because you’re ex was a golfer. You can just be with new people and enjoy their company.
4. You’re ex is seeing someone else and it doesn’t faze you. This scenario might catch you unaware and be glad for that.
5. Your therapist tells you you’re ready or if your therapist bill goes over £1000 pounds – whichever comes first! Seriously, ask your counsellor if they honestly think you are ready. If they say yes, come up with a plan together.
6. There’s no unfinished business. You’ve said everything you had to say – so have they. No items of theirs are still in your house. No reminders. You forget their cat’s name. Expectations are gone and you feel fine not having them in your life anymore. You’re good to go.
There’s somebody out there looking for you, what are you waiting for?
By The Divine Miss T